{"product_id":"ashy-moisturize-or-die-poster","title":"Ashy - Moisturize or Die Poster","description":"\u003cp\u003eIn the year of our Lord, right now, today — people are walking out of their homes \u003cem\u003eashy.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNot a little ashy. Not \"oh I forgot to lotion my elbows\" ashy. We're talking full cracked-skin, white-knuckled, horror-movie-monster ashy. Shuffling through the grocery store in house slippers and pajama pants, looking like they just crawled out of a desert at 3AM. No shame. No Vaseline. No accountability.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eASHY\u003c\/strong\u003e is the film we didn't know we needed. A horror story about what happens when society collectively decides that moisturizer is optional and pajamas are outdoor attire. One man. One bottle of lotion he refused to use. One terrifying transformation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMoisturize or Die.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHang this in your bathroom as a reminder. Hang it in your guest room as a warning. Hang it in your office as a public service announcement to the person in the cubicle next door who clearly ran out of cocoa butter in 2019.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium quality poster print — 13\" x 19\" horror movie art for people who take skin care seriously\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBold ASHY horror movie artwork — the creature feature nobody asked for but everybody needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA conversation starter, a wellness reminder, and a genuine threat all in one frame\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips rolled and ready to hang. Unlike some people, who aren't ready to go anywhere without lotion.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eASHY: Coming this Halloween to a bathroom near you. Moisturize first.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chirpnout","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67582737973397,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0802\/3002\/3317\/files\/image_16c1435b-f633-4142-8741-ad1d67f7edc3.png?v=1790457076","url":"https:\/\/chirpnout.com\/products\/ashy-moisturize-or-die-poster","provider":"Chirpnout","version":"1.0","type":"link"}