{"product_id":"incompetent-republican-tee","title":"Incompetent Republican Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eIn the grand tradition of institutions that fail loudly and then ask for your vote anyway, we present: \u003cstrong\u003eThe Incompetent Republican\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNot to be confused with the \u003cem\u003ecompetent\u003c\/em\u003e Republican, who is a theoretical construct that political scientists debate in hushed tones, like Bigfoot or a balanced budget. The Incompetent Republican is a different creature — dazed, defiant, X-eyed from the sheer volume of contradictions required to maintain the current platform, and absolutely certain that none of this is their fault.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Incompetent Republican once promised to cut spending and then spent more. Promised to drain the swamp and then invited the swamp to a fundraiser. Promised small government and then had opinions about everything you do in your personal life. Has a plan. Cannot describe the plan. Is very confident about the plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe elephant in the room is the elephant on the shirt.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it as a statement. Wear it as a question. Wear it to Thanksgiving when your uncle starts explaining the economy. Let it do the talking — loudly, confidently, and slightly off-topic.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium tan\/khaki unisex tee — the color of someone who golfs a lot and makes decisions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBold Incompetent Republican graphic — dazed elephant, black and navy, red underlines for urgency\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable S through 3XL — political incompetence is bipartisan in scale\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with: cable news, town halls, strongly-worded letters, and a stiff drink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eIncompetent Republican: At least the elephant looks as confused as the rest of us.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chirpnout","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":67583270125717,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":67583270158485,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":67583270191253,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":67583270224021,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":67583270256789,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0802\/3002\/3317\/files\/image_aa9c7b27-ccf6-4a93-bbcd-e2fc6ff2de38.png?v=1790461209","url":"https:\/\/chirpnout.com\/products\/incompetent-republican-tee","provider":"Chirpnout","version":"1.0","type":"link"}