{"product_id":"indycongress-tee","title":"IndyCongress Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eIn 2026, historians will note that the United States Congress achieved a rare and remarkable feat: \u003cem\u003eunanimous agreement\u003c\/em\u003e. Not on policy, not on a budget, not even on what to have for lunch — but on the undeniable fact that every single member was, at their core, a \u003cstrong\u003ebaboon in a suit\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Congress of Baboons Tee commemorates this historic moment of bipartisan unity. Three baboons — one laughing, one screaming, one scowling — stand together at the podium of democracy, doing exactly what congress does best: \u003cem\u003eabsolutely nothing productive, but doing it with incredible conviction.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBipartisan Baboonary. Est. 2026.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBold black-ink design, centered chest print — \u003cem\u003etastefully unhinged\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium unisex fit, soft enough to wear to a filibuster\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL because freedom comes in all shapes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable — unlike most legislative decisions, this one holds up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWear it to a town hall. Wear it to a C-SPAN watch party. Wear it everywhere democracy is a spectator sport.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chirpnout","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":67632946643093,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":67632946675861,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":67632946708629,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":67632946741397,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":67632946774165,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":67632946806933,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0802\/3002\/3317\/files\/indycongress-white-tee.png?v=1791170907","url":"https:\/\/chirpnout.com\/products\/indycongress-tee","provider":"Chirpnout","version":"1.0","type":"link"}