{"product_id":"plandemic-coozie","title":"Plandemic Coozie","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Plandemic Coozie\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eIn 2020, they told you to cover your face. Turns out, your drink needed protection too.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey told you to wear a mask. Next time, forget about your ugly mug — get your cold beers wrapped up for those long nights when the \"experts\" are still on TV and your patience ran out three press briefings ago.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis coozie keeps your beer cold, your hands dry, and your commitment to questionable decisions fully insulated.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eKeeps drinks cold longer \u003cem\u003e(unlike certain government predictions)\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFits standard 12 oz cans\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollapsible and easy to carry — perfect for bunker life or backyard BBQs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMakes an excellent gift for anyone who's \u003cem\u003edone with it\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBecause your beer didn't social distance from the sun. Someone had to step up.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chirpnout","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":49980101689493,"sku":null,"price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0802\/3002\/3317\/files\/plandemic-coozie-mockup.png?v=1790202691","url":"https:\/\/chirpnout.com\/products\/plandemic-coozie","provider":"Chirpnout","version":"1.0","type":"link"}