{"product_id":"shirt-2","title":"Plandemic","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt started with a bat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOr a lab. Or a bat near a lab. Or a lab that studied bats. Nobody agrees on the bat situation and frankly that's part of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat everyone \u003cem\u003edoes\u003c\/em\u003e agree on is what came next: two weeks to flatten the curve, which became four months, which became a year and a half, which became a period of history that your children will ask you about and you will not know where to begin.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou bought flour. You learned sourdough. You stood six feet away from strangers in a Costco parking lot and called it a Tuesday. You watched a man on television tell you that he \u003cem\u003ewas\u003c\/em\u003e the science, and something in your brain went very quiet and very suspicious and never fully recovered.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for that moment. That quiet. That suspicion.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003ePlandemic Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e features a hooded puppetmaster pulling the strings on a globe full of masked, compliant masses while the gears of something enormous grind overhead and the all-seeing eye watches from below — unbothered, unblinking, and extremely well-funded. PCR tests. Lockdowns. Manufactured numbers. The Great Reset. It's all here, packed into one gloriously unhinged graphic that will make your Thanksgiving dinner either significantly more interesting or significantly shorter, depending on your family.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the grocery store where they still have the six-foot stickers on the floor for some reason. Wear it to your next booster appointment as a conversation opener. Wear it on an airplane and enjoy the silence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% Ultra Cotton Gildan tee — soft, durable, and completely unsponsored by any public health agency\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFull-coverage bold illustrated graphic — the kind that makes airport security pause and reconsider their life choices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors — because freedom of choice still technically exists (for now, check back next quarter)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic unisex fit — flattering on the fully vaccinated and the unvaccinated alike, no questions asked\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable, no mandate required\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eBuy it for yourself. Buy it for the person in your life who sent you seventeen PDFs in March 2020 and turned out to be right about at least four of them. Buy it for your doctor and watch what happens.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThey told you to stay home. They told you to comply. They forgot to mention there'd be a shirt about it.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThere's a shirt about it.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Gildan","offers":[{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":47938994077845,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":47938994110613,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":47938994143381,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":47938994176149,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":47938994208917,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":49979536965781,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0802\/3002\/3317\/files\/plandemic-square-mockup_0c5bf29c-c6e2-479d-bbb5-d160c3d00711.png?v=1790200443","url":"https:\/\/chirpnout.com\/products\/shirt-2","provider":"Chirpnout","version":"1.0","type":"link"}