Incompetent Republican Tee

In the grand tradition of institutions that fail loudly and then ask for your vote anyway, we present: The Incompetent Republican.

Not to be confused with the competent Republican, who is a theoretical construct that political scientists debate in hushed tones, like Bigfoot or a balanced budget. The Incompetent Republican is a different creature — dazed, defiant, X-eyed from the sheer volume of contradictions required to maintain the current platform, and absolutely certain that none of this is their fault.

The Incompetent Republican once promised to cut spending and then spent more. Promised to drain the swamp and then invited the swamp to a fundraiser. Promised small government and then had opinions about everything you do in your personal life. Has a plan. Cannot describe the plan. Is very confident about the plan.

The elephant in the room is the elephant on the shirt.

Wear it as a statement. Wear it as a question. Wear it to Thanksgiving when your uncle starts explaining the economy. Let it do the talking — loudly, confidently, and slightly off-topic.

• Premium tan/khaki unisex tee — the color of someone who golfs a lot and makes decisions
• Bold Incompetent Republican graphic — dazed elephant, black and navy, red underlines for urgency
• Available S through 3XL — political incompetence is bipartisan in scale
• Pairs well with: cable news, town halls, strongly-worded letters, and a stiff drink

Incompetent Republican: At least the elephant looks as confused as the rest of us.